Memorial of Saint Paul Miki and Companions, Martyrs

Repentance is often misunderstood as mere regret, but I have come to see it as a call to transformation. When I first spoke out about clergy abuse at St. Mary’s Cathedral, I believed repentance meant that the Church would acknowledge the truth, amend its ways, and seek justice. Instead, my words were met with rejection, as if the call to repentance was meant only for the sinner and not for those in positions of power. If repentance is about turning toward God, why does it seem that those who preach it the most resist it when it is directed at them❓

Saint Francis of Assisi understood repentance as a complete reorientation of the soul, a movement toward harmony with creation and truth. His conversion did not come from mere sorrow for past mistakes but from a radical commitment to justice and love. I wonder if my own repentance is lacking—not in sincerity, but in its effectiveness. Have I failed to communicate my concerns in a w onay that inspires transformation rather than defensiveness❓ Or is it simply that some hearts, even within the Church, remain unwilling to embrace true repentance❓

Bishop Zurek’s words to me suggested that I had lost my way, that I needed to rediscover the “art of discernment” and choose the virtuous path. Yet, what is virtue without repentance❓ If I am wrong, I should repent, but if I am right, should I repent for speaking the truth❓ Repentance should not mean silence in the face of injustice. I think of those who have suffered, those whose pain has been ignored. If the Church does not repent for its failures, how can it call others to repentance❓

Even in what others consider trivial, I see how repentance is applied selectively. When Father Tony announced that there would be no 7AM Mass next Friday, I thought of how different things were under Monsignor Waldow, who made every effort to ensure that the faithful had access to the Eucharist, and never thought of accommodating himself by allowing a Communion Service. On the other hand, Bishop Zurek does not see the absence of a daily Mass as either a big deal or a just cause for driving across town early in the morning to his own Cathedral, bringing in another priest, or allowing the remaining priest to do a second Mass. Yet, he does see a just cause—perhaps himself— for a clandestine 7AM lay-led Communion Service in addition to a regularly scheduled 8:15AM Mass. Is repentance only required of some while others are exempt❓

I cannot help but wonder: if repentance is truly about a return to God, why does it seem that those in power resist it the most❓ Have I misunderstood the nature of repentance, or have I merely discovered how rarely it is embraced by those who most need it❓ And if even the Church struggles with repentance, what hope is there for true transformation in the world—

“So they went off and preached repentance.“❓