How can I reconcile my anger and sense of betrayal—after seeing Father Tony disregard the full intention for our son Daniel’s miracle and then allowing the Mass to conclude with, “Thank you Father” instead of “Thanks be to God” —while believing that I’m defending the very heart of the faith in the Eucharist, and still picking up these “fragments” of unresolved tension, all in light of Pope Francis’s reminder that the Lord chose to touch our deepest selves through a “fragment” of matter—“They picked up the fragments left over…”❓
Gospel
In those days when there again was a great crowd without anything to eat,
Jesus summoned the disciples and said,
“My heart is moved with pity for the crowd,
because they have been with me now for three days
and have nothing to eat.
If I send them away hungry to their homes,
they will collapse on the way,
and some of them have come a great distance.”
His disciples answered him, “Where can anyone get enough bread
to satisfy them here in this deserted place?”
Still he asked them, “How many loaves do you have?”
They replied, “Seven.”
He ordered the crowd to sit down on the ground.
Then, taking the seven loaves he gave thanks, broke them,
and gave them to his disciples to distribute,
and they distributed them to the crowd.
They also had a few fish.
He said the blessing over them
and ordered them distributed also.
They ate and were satisfied.
They picked up the fragments left over–seven baskets.
There were about four thousand people.He dismissed the crowd and got into the boat with his disciples
and came to the region of Dalmanutha.
Lectio Divina Reflection on “fragments“
I find myself holding onto each fragment of yesterday’s Mass, unable to let go of the pieces that don’t seem to fit. The Mass was not supposed to be, yet it happened. The intention was supposed to be clear, yet it was only half-spoken. The dismissal should have ended in gratitude, yet it ended in frustration. Each fragment lingers in my mind, refusing to settle into place. I wonder if the weight I give to these moments is too much, or if each fragment truly carries meaning beyond what I can see.
I think about Pope Francis’s words—how the Lord chose to reach us through a fragment of matter. If the smallest piece of the Eucharist contains the fullness of Christ, then do these moments—these fragments of disappointment and struggle—also hold some deeper grace❓ I find myself grasping at them, trying to make sense of what is whole and what is broken, what is lost and what is left to gather.
gives us the capacity to do it conforming our hearts to His: only “the heart makes all authentic
bonding possible, since a relationship not shaped by the heart is incapable of overcoming the
fragmentation caused by individualism” (DN 17).
Kim’s words stay with me: “You’re taking this too personally.” Is this struggle just about me and Father Tony, or is it something more❓ I thought I was defending the faith, standing for what is right, refusing to let the Eucharist—the source and summit—be treated carelessly. But now I wonder, have I lost sight of something greater in my focus on these fragments❓ Have I picked up only the pieces that fuel my anger and not those that offer peace❓
The Eucharist is a struggle, a mystery, a paradox. In receiving the smallest fragment, we receive everything. In losing what we thought mattered, we sometimes find what we truly need. Am I gathering these fragments in faith, or am I clinging to them in frustration❓ Do I trust that God’s grace is still at work in what remains❓
I am left wondering: if I step back from my anger, if I let go of my expectations, will I see the deeper meaning in all of this—just as the disciples did when they gathered the pieces after the miracle of the loaves❓
The Lord, in the culmination of the mystery of the Incarnation, chose to reach our intimate depths through a fragment of matter.
FROM PARAGRAPH 236 of ENCYCLICAL LETTER LAUDATO SI’ OF THE HOLY FATHER FRANCIS ON CARE FOR OUR COMMON HOME