Optional Memorial of the Most Holy Name of Jesus
Lectio Divina for Synodality during the Centennial Celebration of the Diocese of Amarillo
Theme: “Him”
Today the Scriptures refuse to let me hide behind abstractions.
John does not say something is coming.
He says Someone.
John refuses He does not gesture vaguely toward goodness, reform, or improvement.
He points with a finger and says,
“Behold.”
Behold Him.
The Lamb.
The One who takes away sin, not rearranges it.
The One who ranks ahead of every power, because He existed before every excuse.
John admits what is most unsettling:
“I did not know Him.”
Not until the Spirit rested.
Not until God Himself named Him.
Today’s Gospel strips me of substitutes.
It tells me that every question—every controversy, every appeal for Synodality—collapses into one unavoidable center:
Which “Him” am I looking at?
“If Boston is the fault line of the child sexual-abuse scandal that has convulsed the Roman Catholic Church, then few places have felt the aftershocks more deeply than the Diocese of Amarillo.”
New York Times
August 24, 2002
“In memory of the death of innocence of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. When innocence dies…a life stops. It is essential that we never forget.”
“Christian holiness often flourishes in the most forgotten and wounded places of humanity. ”
Dilexi te §76
“Do I have the faith—one of the pillars of our Diocesan Centennial—to believe that Christian holiness most often rises from the forgotten and wounded places of humanity where the victims of our “serious mistake” reside?”
Meditatio
Today I ask myself a question that refuses to be polite:
Photo used by permission of Douglas Kirkland/Corbis via Getty Images
Which “him” am I seeking as I ask for Synodality regarding the Diocese of Amarillo’s Tribute to Bishop Matthiesen?
Is it him, the Bishop who made a catastrophic decision a “serious mistake,” yet went to his grave with “no regrets”?
Is it him, the convicted priest who raised the tribute before being sentenced, did his time and got out of prison to see it still standing?
Is it him, the current bishop who judged what happened as a “serious mistake”, yet finds my voice as unwelcome, even unfaithful?
Below: A Fallen Centennial Banner
Or is it Him—
the Lamb of God who does not take sides, but takes away sin?
Here is the uncomfortable Chestertonian paradox:
If I am honest, I am seeking all of them—and that is precisely the problem.
Because only one Him can save.
Only one Him can purify motive.
Only one Him can turn anger into light without turning truth into silence.
If Synodality does not lead me back to Him,
then it is merely noise baptized with good intentions.
Contemplatio (Chestertonian Synthesis)
Christianity does not ask me to be neutral.
It asks me to be converted.
The Church does not survive by defending institutions;
it survives by pointing—again and again—to Him.
The paradox is this:
When I stop staring at them,
and dare to behold Him,
truth becomes sharper, not softer—
and mercy becomes stronger, not weaker.
If I lose Him, I gain nothing.
If I keep Him, even my wounds may yet become windows.
Oratio (Day 25 Prayer for Synodality)
Almighty ever-living God,
who were pleased to shine forth with new light
through the coming of your Only Begotten Son,
grant, we pray,
that as we behold Him,
the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world,
we may be purified of false motives,
healed of hidden resentments,
and made courageous enough to walk together in truth.
May our desire for Synodality
be measured not by comfort or approval,
but by fidelity to Him
who alone redeems your Church.
Who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, for ever and ever.
Amen.
Actio (Action – Synodality & Laudato si’)
“Saint John Paul II stated that the special love of the Creator for each human being ‘confers upon him or her an infinite dignity’.”
Laudato si’ §65
Action:
Today I will examine whether my words, posts, and silences point people toward Him—
or merely toward conflict.
Synodality begins where Christ, not outrage, becomes the center.
🎶 G-Eazy & Halsey – Him & I
🎬Movie: : “Get Him Back for Christmas” (2024)
Email to Bishop Zurek
Subject: A Request for Synodal Discernment Regarding the Tribute to Bishop Matthiesen
Your Excellency,
I write to you during this Christmas season after many days of prayer and reflection, particularly through Lectio Divina, regarding the Diocese of Amarillo’s Centennial and the tribute honoring Bishop Matthiesen.
Over time, my focus has shifted. I am no longer asking simply for the removal of the tribute, but for the beginning of a genuine synodal process around it. I believe silence—however well-intended—has become pastorally burdensome, especially for survivors of clergy abuse connected to what Bishop Matthiesen himself described as a “serious mistake.”
My concern is rooted not in accusation, but in family: the family of survivors, the parish family, the diocesan family, and the wider Church. In the spirit of reason, religion, and loving kindness, I ask whether we might openly discern why this tribute exists, how it is received by those wounded by abuse, and what faithfulness to the Gospel requires of us during this Centennial year.
Christmas reminds us that God chose humility over grandeur, presence over silence, and truth spoken in love over avoidance. I respectfully ask that this matter be engaged synodally—with listening, dialogue, and prayer—so that healing, not division, may mark our celebration.
Please know that I remain committed to the Church, to the Eucharist, and to walking this path in charity and fidelity.
Respectfully in Christ,
Darrell Glenn
Diocese of Amarillo
My Story
“In memory of the death of innocence of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. When innocence dies…a life stops. It is essential that we never forget.“
- Bishop Matthiesen, who rode the white horse of public activism even as he brought abusive priests into our diocese such as John Salazar—wounds that still mark us today. I spoke with him often, pleading with him to reconsider his “no regrets” about bringing those priests here…
- Bishop Yanta, who sought to enforce the Dallas Charter even when Bishop Matthiesen resisted him, and who bore the personal and pastoral cost of doing so. I met with Bishop Yanta about Bishop Matthiessen’s “no regrets” stance. He listened. He believed me. He acted where he could. And when he retired, he urged me—quietly but firmly—to keep speaking out.
- Bishop Zurek, who told the Diocese of Amarillo he had “no facts” about the Philadelphia report even as Amarillo’s connection to that tragedy was headline news. When I continued to speak out, as Bishop Yanta had once urged me to do, he later wrote that I was not among the faithful and loyal disciples whom the Lord Jesus desires.
Have you thought about involving bishops and others who might hear your cry?
The Vertreese family is proud of you for speaking up for the victims.
Thank you so much, Honey—that truly means more than you know. Your support and encouragement strengthen me.
Yes, I do post daily to the Holy Father and to the USCCB, and I will continue to give Bishop Zurek more time to respond. I also plan to write a letter to the Papal Nuncio. That said, as it stands, the bishop is the ultimate decision-maker in his diocese, and on matters like this he cannot be held accountable by anyone else.
At the end of the day, I have to place all of this in God’s hands and trust His timing. My call is not to be successful, but to be faithful—to keep standing with the victims and speaking the truth in charity. Please know how grateful I am to the Vertreese family for walking with me in this.