Day 29 of Prayer for Synodality
Diocesan Centennial – Diocese of Amarillo
1. Lectio
“They had not understood the incident of the loaves.
On the contrary, their hearts were hardened.”
I read this Gospel with some embarrassment, because it describes me with an accuracy bordering on prophecy. The disciples have eaten the miracle and yet cannot digest its meaning. They have been fed by grace and remain famished for understanding. Their hands remember the loaves; their hearts remain stone.
Jesus walks on water, and they mistake Him for a ghost. The God who multiplies bread now attempts to pass by hardened hearts—not because He abandons them, but because love never forces entry.
“If Boston is the fault line of the child sexual-abuse scandal that has convulsed the Roman Catholic Church, then few places have felt the aftershocks more deeply than the Diocese of Amarillo.”
New York Times
August 24, 2002
“In memory of the death of innocence of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. When innocence dies…a life stops. It is essential that we never forget.”
“‘They do not shun or fear those young people who have experienced hurt or borne the weight of the cross.’ ”
Dilexi te §80
Can I live Communion—one of the four pillars of our Diocesan Centennial—by refusing to shun or fear those who have been wounded by our “serious mistake”, especially young people who have borne the weight of the cross, and instead choosing to stand with them as true members of the Body of Christ?
2. Meditatio
Yesterday, hardened by the long effort of seeking Synodality regarding the Diocese of Amarillo’s Tribute to Bishop Matthiesen, I did something foolish and human: I went to look.
I looked to see if, by some silent miracle of ecclesial listening, the tribute had softened, shifted, or disappeared. It had not. It remains exactly as it has since 2001—hardened in place, unmoved by years, reports, or memory.
Photo used by permission of Douglas Kirkland/Corbis via Getty Images
In 2002, the New York Times wrote that if Boston was the epicenter of the clergy abuse crisis, few dioceses felt the aftershocks more than Amarillo. Yet even earthquakes do not always crack monuments. Stone has a stubborn faith in itself.
And here is the paradox that rebukes this obese, wannabe shepherd:
If I wish to see hardened hearts softened—including my own—I cannot row with clenched fists. If I harden myself against hardened stone, I merely become its mirror.
Below: A Fallen Centennial Banner
The disciples rowed harder. Jesus walked closer. Their effort did not summon Him; their fear nearly repelled Him. Only when He entered the boat did the wind die down.
If I harden my heart while rowing against the wind of clerical abuse, Jesus may pass me by—not in punishment, but in sorrow—leaving both the tribute and me precisely as we are.
3. Contemplatio (Chestertonian Synthesis)
It is a curious thing that stone fears water, and water fears stone—yet Christ rules both. He walks upon the sea and waits patiently beside the unmoving monument.
The world believes that hardness is strength. The Gospel insists that hardness is blindness. A hardened heart does not resist truth; it simply cannot feel it.
Synodality is not a hammer. It is a thaw.
Perhaps the tribute remains not because hearts are cruel, but because they are frozen. And frozen things do not move until warmth arrives. Christ does not break the ice by force. He enters the boat.
If anything is to move in this Centennial year, it will not be because stone is shattered—but because hearts remember how to melt.
Oratio (Day 29 Prayer for Synodality)
O God,
who bestow light upon all the nations,
grant your people the gladness of lasting peace.
Soften what has grown hardened in us—
not by shame, but by truth;
not by force, but by mercy.
Pour into our hearts that brilliant light
by which you purified the minds of our fathers in faith,
that we may see clearly, listen humbly,
and walk together without fear.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, for ever and ever.
Amen.
5. Actio
“It is hard for us to accept that the way natural ecosystems work is exemplary: plants synthesize nutrients which feed herbivores; these in turn become food for carnivores, which produce significant quantities of organic waste which give rise to new generations of plants.”
Laudato si’ §22
Today I will practice soft resistance:
listening without surrender,
speaking without striking,
persisting without hardening.
Synodality is not the art of winning—it is the discipline of remaining human while waiting for hearts to thaw.
🎶 Petra – “Don’t Let Your Heart Be Hardened“
🎬Movie: Hardened – Short Film
Optional Memorial of Saint Raymond of Penyafort, priest
OP
Born
c. 1175
Santa Margarida i els Monjos, Principality of Catalonia, Crown of Aragon
Died
6 January 1275
Barcelona, Crown of Aragon
Venerated in
Catholic Church
Beatified
1542, Rome by Pope Paul III
Canonized
29 April 1601, Rome by Pope Clement VIII
Major shrine
Cathedral of the Holy Cross and Saint Eulalia
Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain
Feast
7 January
Attributes
skimming across the sea with his cape as both boat and sail[1]
Patronage
canon lawyers; all types of lawyers, Barcelona, Kingdom of Navarre
Email to Bishop Zurek
Subject: A Request for Synodal Discernment Regarding the Tribute to Bishop Matthiesen
Your Excellency,
I write to you during this Christmas season after many days of prayer and reflection, particularly through Lectio Divina, regarding the Diocese of Amarillo’s Centennial and the tribute honoring Bishop Matthiesen.
Over time, my focus has shifted. I am no longer asking simply for the removal of the tribute, but for the beginning of a genuine synodal process around it. I believe silence—however well-intended—has become pastorally burdensome, especially for survivors of clergy abuse connected to what Bishop Matthiesen himself described as a “serious mistake.”
My concern is rooted not in accusation, but in family: the family of survivors, the parish family, the diocesan family, and the wider Church. In the spirit of reason, religion, and loving kindness, I ask whether we might openly discern why this tribute exists, how it is received by those wounded by abuse, and what faithfulness to the Gospel requires of us during this Centennial year.
Christmas reminds us that God chose humility over grandeur, presence over silence, and truth spoken in love over avoidance. I respectfully ask that this matter be engaged synodally—with listening, dialogue, and prayer—so that healing, not division, may mark our celebration.
Please know that I remain committed to the Church, to the Eucharist, and to walking this path in charity and fidelity.
Respectfully in Christ,
Darrell Glenn
Diocese of Amarillo
My Story
“In memory of the death of innocence of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. When innocence dies…a life stops. It is essential that we never forget.“
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- Bishop Matthiesen, who rode the white horse of public activism even as he brought abusive priests into our diocese such as John Salazar—wounds that still mark us today. I spoke with him often, pleading with him to reconsider his “no regrets” about bringing those priests here…
- Bishop Yanta, who sought to enforce the Dallas Charter even when Bishop Matthiesen resisted him, and who bore the personal and pastoral cost of doing so. I met with Bishop Yanta about Bishop Matthiessen’s “no regrets” stance. He listened. He believed me. He acted where he could. And when he retired, he urged me—quietly but firmly—to keep speaking out.
- Bishop Zurek, who told the Diocese of Amarillo he had “no facts” about the Philadelphia report even as Amarillo’s connection to that tragedy was headline news. When I continued to speak out, as Bishop Yanta had once urged me to do, he later wrote that I was not among the faithful and loyal disciples whom the Lord Jesus desires.