Wednesday of Holy Week

1. Lectio

Judas goes to the chief priests—
not with confusion,
but with calculation:

“What are you willing to give me…?”

And later, at table,
a strange chorus begins:

“Surely it is not I, Lord?”

Each disciple asks it—
with varying degrees of sincerity,
no doubt.

And Judas asks it too—
with chilling precision:

“Surely it is not I, Rabbi?”

And Christ answers him
with a sentence so simple
it almost hides its severity:

“You have said so.”

2. Meditatio

Surely is a curious word.

It sounds like certainty—
but often hides avoidance.

It allows me to say something confidently
without actually examining it too closely.

“Surely, that cannot be me.”
“Surely, I would never…”
“Surely, I am on the right side of things.”

And today—
of all days—
I am tempted to use it freely.

For it is Holy Wednesday—
a day that invites me
to consider betrayal.

But it is also April 1st—
a day that invites me
to consider jokes.

And I suspect I will unconsciously choose the latter.

It is far easier to laugh
than to look.

Far easier to assume
than to examine.

“Surely, I am not the one.”

Surely, I have not betrayed.
Surely, I have not been greedy.
Surely, I have not been disloyal
to the Body of Christ
in the great matters of our time.

War.
Immigration.
Creation itself.

Surely, I stand in the clear.

And yet—
Christ does not argue with Judas.

He does not correct him.
He does not expose him publicly.

He simply returns the words:

“You have said so.”

Which is, perhaps,
the most unsettling response of all.

For it leaves the judgment
not in Christ’s accusation—
but in my own honesty.

It is as though Christ Himself whispers:

“If you are so sure…
why must you say it?”

And suddenly,
“surely” no longer sounds like certainty.

It sounds like a question
I am afraid to answer.

3. Contemplatio (Chestertonian Synthesis)

Chesterton might say that modern man has achieved a remarkable feat:
he has become absolutely certain about everything
except himself.

We doubt tradition,
question authority,
analyze systems—

but rarely interrogate
our own motives.

We say, “Surely,”
as though conviction were proof.

But Judas, too,
was quite sure.

Sure enough to speak.
Sure enough to act.
Sure enough to betray.

The great paradox is this:

The more certain I am of my innocence,
the more necessary it is
to examine it.

For holiness does not begin
with certainty—
but with humility.

And perhaps the only safe use of the word “surely”
is this:

“Surely, Lord,
I need Your mercy.”

4. Oratio

5. Actio — In Light of Laudato Si’ and Synodality

Exposure to atmospheric pollutants produces a broad spectrum of health hazards, especially for the poor, and causes millions of premature deaths.

Laudato si’ §20

Conversion begins with listening—
not only to others, but to the truth within my own life.

Today, I will:

• Replace assumption with examination.
• Listen to perspectives I would normally dismiss.
• Walk synodally—recognizing that I am part of the problem before I can be part of the solution.

For communion grows
not from being “surely right,”
but from being humbly open.

6. Song Pairing 🎵

🎶 “Surely” – Carole King🎵

7. Movie Pairing 🎬

🎬Movie: “Airplane!” (1980)

My Story

• Bishop Matthiesen, who rode the white horse of public activism even as he brought abusive priests into our diocese such as John Salazar—wounds that still mark us today. I spoke with him often, pleading with him to reconsider his “no regrets” about bringing those priests here…
• Bishop Yanta, who sought to enforce the Dallas Charter even when Bishop Matthiesen resisted him, and who bore the personal and pastoral cost of doing so. I met with Bishop Yanta about Bishop Matthiessen’s “no regrets” stance. He listened. He believed me. He acted where he could. And when he retired, he urged me—quietly but firmly—to keep speaking out.
• Bishop Zurek, who told the Diocese of Amarillo he had “no facts” about the Philadelphia report even as Amarillo’s connection to that tragedy was headline news. When I continued to speak out, as Bishop Yanta had once urged me to do, he later wrote that I was not among the faithful and loyal disciples whom the Lord Jesus desires.
• Bishop Daniel Cardinal DiNardo…

While we recognize your thoughtful suggestion for a renewed dialogue on Bishop Matthiesen, the present circumstances do not present an opportunity for it. I think it would foster division not dialogue. We remain confident in God’s providence and hopeful for what the future may bring.

from a letter dated March 5, 2026