The Lord speaks to Ahaz and commands him to ask—
to ask boldly, deeply, extravagantly:
“Ask for a sign… deep as the netherworld or high as the sky.”
Ahaz refuses to ask, cloaking fear in piety.
God answers anyway.
A Child is given.
A Virgin conceives.
God-with-us arrives not because we asked well,
but because we refused to ask at all.
Joseph, too, asks nothing—
he listens, dreams, obeys.
He does not demand clarity;
he receives it.
The Psalm asks who may ascend the mountain of the Lord.
The answer is not the clever, nor the cautious,
but the one with clean hands and a heart unentangled by vanity.
The 5th O’ Antiphon dares me to ask again:
“O Rising Sun… come and enlighten those who sit in darkness.”
“If Boston is the fault line of the child sexual-abuse scandal that has convulsed the Roman Catholic Church, then few places have felt the aftershocks more deeply than the Diocese of Amarillo.”
New York Times
August 24, 2002
“In memory of the death of innocence of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. When innocence dies…a life stops. It is essential that we never forget.”
During this Centennial can I make myself abused and see the victims of clergy abuse as spiritual teachers?
“They did not merely serve the poor: they made themselves poor with them. They saw the city as a new desert and the marginalized as new spiritual teachers.”
Dilexi te, §63
Meditatio (Meditation)
As I stand in the sunset and hear the Bells of St. Mary’s Cathedral calling me to Mass,
I realize I am being summoned not only to worship—but to discern.
What am I being asked to continue asking?
Should I keep counting the days of prayer for synodality regarding the Tribute to Bishop Matthiesen?
Should I keep naming the silence that surrounds it?
Should I keep building the humble work of the homestead—tending ewe lambs and living close to the soil?
Should I give less money, so I may give more time, more presence, more truth?
Photo used by permission of Douglas Kirkland/Corbis via Getty Images
I am anguished because I want God’s will—
not my will wearing God’s name like a borrowed coat.
Ahaz would not ask.
Joseph did not ask.
Mary did ask—“How can this be?”—and then surrendered.
Advent teaches me this:
Not asking is sometimes the most dangerous refusal of all.
Contemplatio (Chestertonian Synthesis)
The mystery of Advent is not that God answers our questions,
but that He becomes the Answer.
God does not solve my discernment;
He enters it.
The Child in Mary’s womb is God’s reply
to every anxious calculation I make about outcomes and consequences.
Synodality is not strategy.
It is the courage to ask together
and to wait together
without sealing the door prematurely with silence.
The Rising Sun does not ask permission to rise.
He simply reveals what was already true.
Oratio (Prayer — Day 12)
Pour forth, we beseech you, O Lord, your grace into our hearts,
that we, who struggle to ask rightly and fear asking at all,
may learn from Joseph’s obedience,
Mary’s courage,
and your patience with our hesitation.
During this Centennial year,
grant us the grace of synodality:
to ask together,
to listen without fear,
and to trust that truth, once illumined,
will not destroy us—but save us.
Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Actio (Action — Laudato si’ & Synodality)
Today I will practice synodality through discernment:
I will name one honest question—without accusation, without demand—
and place it before God and the Church,
trusting that shared asking is already a form of conversion.
…“time is greater than space”…
Laudato si’ §178
🎵 “O Come, O Come Emmanuel”
It teaches us to ask—again and again—
until God Himself becomes the answer we were afraid to speak aloud.
🎬Movie: Love Actually (2003)
Email to Bishop Zurek
Subject: Request for Dialogue Regarding the Tribute
Your Excellency,
I am writing to apologize if any of my previous communications about the tribute to Bishop Matthiesen came across as threatening or coercive. That was not my intention, and I regret any words that suggested pressure rather than prayerful discernment.
Silence has been painful, but I remain committed to walking with the Church, not against her. I respectfully ask for conversation, not conflict, so that this matter may be addressed in the light of truth, charity, and healing.
Thank you for your time and pastoral care.
Respectfully in Christ,
Darrell Glenn
Diocese of Amarillo
My Story
“In memory of the death of innocence of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. When innocence dies…a life stops. It is essential that we never forget.“
- Bishop Matthiesen, who rode the white horse of public activism even as he brought abusive priests into our diocese such as John Salazar—wounds that still mark us today. I spoke with him often, pleading with him to reconsider his “no regrets” about bringing those priests here…
- Bishop Yanta, who sought to enforce the Dallas Charter even when Bishop Matthiesen resisted him, and who bore the personal and pastoral cost of doing so. I met with Bishop Yanta about Bishop Matthiessen’s “no regrets” stance. He listened. He believed me. He acted where he could. And when he retired, he urged me—quietly but firmly—to keep speaking out.
- Bishop Zurek, who told the Diocese of Amarillo he had “no facts” about the Philadelphia report even as Amarillo’s connection to that tragedy was headline news. When I continued to speak out, as Bishop Yanta had once urged me to do, he later wrote that I was not among the faithful and loyal disciples whom the Lord Jesus desires.